Misadventures of an American in the Middle East

Ah, the joys of no sleep

It's been hellacious the past few days.  Ever since Sunday night I haven't had a decent night's sleep.  I didnt even have good sleep during the weekend.  It's all good though.  It was for a good cause.  All for Pretty Girl of course.  LOL.  Well, not really for her, but for "us" which isn't there yet.  Basically things are going good.  We're making progress but we're still not together.  We're taking it real slow because she wants to be 100% sure this is what she wants in her life.  I'm totally cool with that.  In fact I like it.  I like knowing that if things work out between us and we end up together she's totally commited.  That there is a a very good chance it will be a lasting relationship.  What more can I ask for?  I'm not looking for any quickies or time fillers.  I'm looking for possible marriage material type women.  What better way to find them by picking women who want to make sure they are making the right decision before making it.  It's quite an admirable trait to have.  She's actually teaching me to be patient as well.  Normally i'm full speed ahead and that's what usually ruins my relationships.  Now i'm learning to be patient and let things happen.  Let nature take it's course. 

We've been spending a great amount of time together lately too.  That's why I haven't had much sleep.  Lately i've been going to her place and hanging out.  I had dinner there last night and we ended up watching movies until 1 in the morning.  I'm averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night and it's killing me.  I'm barely making it through the day alive.  I've had to take little breaks every now and then to get my blood moving and keep from passing out.  But i'm not at all mad.  Hell, i'm not even grouchy when I wake up in the morning which is odd.  I'm happy.  Very happy.  I haven't been this happy in a long time and damnit it feels good.  Even knowing i'm not in a relationship isn't bringing me down.  Maybe what we have right now is enough for the time being.  In my defense we actually do look like we are together.  We spend all our time together and everyone pretty much considers us a couple.  It's just not official which is fine with me.  The only issues I have with it is that I don't know what to tell people we are.  I don't know how to explain her to anyone else because she's everywhere in my life.  Everything I do is with her nowadays.  My Myspace profile is littered with pics of us, not to mention my profile pic.  My phone background is a picture of us.  The weird part about it is it doesnt bother her.  I know she's warming up to me.  She already said it.  And we wouldn't be spending as much time together if she didnt have feelings for me.  So life is good.  The only thing missing is the next step in a friendship/relationship and i'm cool with waiting for that to happen naturally.  Now don't get me wrong, i'd love to lean in and kiss her just once but it's not necessary. 

Anyway, we're going to a Halloween party tonight so I don't see myself getting a decent night's sleep tonight either.  She's going on a pretty crappy flight schedule on Friday so it'll be quite a while before I see her again.  I'm trying to get as much time with her as possible before she flies out.  I'm going as a priest but i'm not really happy with my costume.  It's kinda cheap looking.  I may go to the costume store today before the party and see what else is availabe.  Not sure if she was able to get a costume or not so we'll see how this afternoon plays out.  I'm hoping she managed to get one earlier today because i'd like to hit the gym before the party.  I've been going on and off lately and it's been paying off.  I've lost almost 4 pounds.  Weird I know.  I started working out over the weekend and i've been going at it almost everyday.  The only time I skip it is when I have softball, which lately has been damn near every day.  I'm considering dropping out of the base team to get my life in order a bit.  I've got quite a bit of things I need to accomplish in life and with softball consuming 5 out of my 7 days a week, it doesnt leave much room for anything else.  Much less a woman.  Plus i'm doing so well in losing weight that i'd like to continue that.  My goal is to lose anywhere from 10 to 15 pounds.  I'd be ecstatic if I can meet that goal.  I'm especially motivated everyday I get on a scale and realize I lost another pound.  I think it helps having around her as well because i'm eating so much better now.  I'm not overeating.  I'm eating healthier home cooked meals.  And i'm staying away from junk food.  It feels weird though cause I actually feel really heavy today and when I weighed myself earlier I realized I actually lost almost a whole pound since yesterday.  I may be eating late at night but they are usually small meals that fit right in to what i'm trying to accomplish. 

Another thing i'm trying to do is knock out another technical certification.  A much harder one at that.  Something that usually takes a few months to learn and pass and years to become proficient in.  If I cut out softball, it would leave me plenty of time to hit the gym, study, AND spend some time with PG.  I'm still debating that decision though because I really enjoy playing softball.  This is also the last season for the recreational league on base and after that the only chance I get is to play on the base team.  I've already missed the last 3 practices.  Not good.  I'm even skipping tonight to hit the gym and possibly make a stop at the costume store to see if there is anything interesting before the party.  I have this weird feeling though.  I don't know if this party thing is going to happen.  Somehow last night while talking to PG I got this feeling that she just wanted to stay home tonight and be by herself.  Something about what she said when I told her we could have dinner at my place tonight and how she had to work the next day.  Even though we both forgot that we already made plans for this Halloween party.  I just have this feeling that she's going to back out.  If she does, i'm probably not going to go.  I may just go to the gym and sleep early.  Wait, before I even finished that sentence she texted me and asked what time I was picking her up.  I guess she bought her costume already.  Now i'm happy again.  LOL.  Do I sound like a pitiful lovestruck little boy?  Probably.  I don't really care.  Hahaha

Weekend Recap

It was a bit of a slow weekend for me.  I really didnt do much of anything.  It was nice.  I think this past weekend may be the first in nearly 2 months where I hadn't gone to the club.  Thursday night I stayed in.  Hell, I don't even remember what I did.  I know I hung out with Pretty Girl for a while and ended up going home early because she was tired.  I ended up sleeping at around 2:30 in the morning though because my body thought it was a normal weekend and I was going to go out and party.  Friday I commited to poker night with the guys.  I still gave myself an opportunity to go out after if I felt like it.  PG arrived from a flight in the afternoon and told me that a few of our friends wanted to do a girls night out so I figured i'd just stay at home.  I guess that didnt pan out because her and her roommate ended up coming over and falling asleep on my couch while I played poker.  I just couldn't get up from the table.  I was winning.  Winning big too.  I think before midnight I was up almost $150.  I just couldn't stand up from that.  I was on a roll.  I ended up losing a bit of money in the last hour or so and cashed out at like $130 or $140 over for the night.  Not a bad way to spend a Friday night. 

Saturday was really slow.  I went to the gym for the 2nd day in a row which felt good but didnt do everything we originally planned.  PG ended up getting the flu and we didnt want to go play softball or walk around the mall or anything.  We ended up shopping for some food with some friends on base and then grabbed some coffee.  We wanted to go out to dinner with some friends of ours but she was just way too sick and I was too tired to follow them to dinner.  I'm exhausted.  I'm trying to stay awake here at work but it's not working.  I only have an hour to kill before lunch and i'm afraid I won't make it.  LOL.  I think it's a combination of lack of sleep and going to the gym lately.  I woke up early on Friday morning to take PG to the airport for her flight and went straight to the gym afterwards.  I spent 2 hours there and then ran some errands to kill some time.  Next thing I knew I had to pick her up and then jump right in to poker.  After I dropped them off at home for the night I ended up passing out around 3:30 in the morning and got woken up at 8 because the jackass neighbors upstairs were making a ton of noise while cleaning.  Moving furniture.  Banging shit.  One more time and i'm going to complain to management just like other people complain about me.  I'm getting tired of being woken up because they have no common courtesy. 

Other than that there really isn't much going on in my life.  Had a nice conversation with PG last night where she admitted that she was indeed starting to warm up to me but heeded a warning that she's not saying either way that something will or will not happen between us.  Nice little precaution I could have done without.  Of course i'm not going to remember the good points of the conversation.  I'm only going to remember the fact that she's still not sure if anything will happen between us.  Eh, I gotta stop worrying about it.  It's only going to bother me and I can't afford to have anything else in my mind.  I need to focus on other things in my life as well like my job and my health.  I really need to lose weight and i'm about to start spending some serious time in the gym to get there.  I wanted to get up early this morning to run a bit but just couldnt do it.  Either i'm really tired or PG is passing me the flu.  Let's hope it's not the latter.  Don't get me wrong, i'm still focusing on my relationship status or should I say lack thereof.  I just can't let it comsume me because if I do it may set me up for a bigger letdown if things don't work out.  And I also can't get too ahead of myself and risk doing something to turn her away.  Right now I enjoy my situation.  Things are going well.  I love spending time with her.  Would I like to be in a commitment with her?  Of course.  Am I going to force it to get there?  Nah.  Don't want to and don't need to.  At least i've learned to just take things slow and take things as they come.  If it happens, then i'll be ecstatic.  If it doesnt, i'll be hurt but i'll move on. 

Don't think i'm not realizing that i'm starting to sound like a love sick puppy.  I notice how much I blog about her and our situation.  I can't really help it.  It's the predominant topic in my head.  I think about it a lot.  And there really isn't many people I can talk to about it because each person's situation determines what we talk about so we're a bit limited.  I have a good friend who I talk to about it but she's more optimistic than me and isn't supposed to tell me what they talk about.  I'm fine with that but i'm not really sure how to take her news.  PG's flatmate is great to talk to but she's definitely sworn to secrecy.  She won't put out any information and ends up sounding less enthusiastic the more I bring it up.  Our other friends i'm sure have mixed feelings on me and her getting together because of a few reasons.  The main one being they lose a winman (wingwoman) when they go to the clubs.  Of course there are a ton of guys out here that they find attractive and want to get to know better.  They have to have single girlfriends to take around with them to all the parties and if she's seeing somoene then the other girl is alone.  I don't think they like the idea of that one bit.  Another reason is i'm afraid they might think we'll hang out with them less when we're together.  I guess I can understand why they would think that since PG and I have spent a lot of time together lately without everyone else.  But the only reason for that is because all the rest of our friends are usually flying or gone somewhere else.  That leaves just us to hang out and she just happens to be receptive to the idea of hanging out with just me and/or with her roommate.  I'm not too sure how long that's going to last though because I already see our other friends joking around with her about how she's not hanging out with them anymore now that i'm always around.  I'm afraid that might hit a chord with her and i'll find her drifting away more because of our friends.  So far everything she's telling me says she's not that type of person so all I can do is hope that it's true.  She's not the only one with bad relationship experiences.  I've had my share and i've seen possible relationships go sour because of pressure from friends.  Purposely, or inadvertently.  Whether or not she let's that pressure get to her will be the tell tale sign.  Let's hope it's good. 

The weekend is upon us

And it couldn't have come at a better time.  I'm freaking exhausted.  I managed to get some good sleep last night.  I originally had friends coming over but by the time I finished dinner and showered all I could think about was going to bed.  I finally laid down around 9 or 9:15 and was just out.  I remember waking up at some point in the middle of the night feeling like it was already morning.  Like I had slept all night.  I never opened my eyes because I realized pretty quick that it was still late because I could hear the jackasses upstairs making a ton of noise.  Unfortunately that noise was the noise of people getting it on.  Disgusting.  Every few seconds or so i'd hear a moan/scream.  Then alternating banging on something.  Come on people.  Have some consideration! 

I still ended up dragging ass this morning.  You know when you sleep too long and wake up you still feel sleepy.  This week has been pretty busy for me so I haven't had much time to sit down and relax.  Hell, i'm way behind on all the things I have to do.  Catch up on some bills, re-arrange some stuff around the house.  Hopefully I have the time and energy this weekend to accomplish some of those so I don't feel like a complete failure.  I should have some time since the majority of my friends will be flying.  PG will be flying in tonight and i'll probably pick her up at the airport around 8 or 9 so I really have nothing to do till then.  She'll probably be exhausted and want to take a nap before we go out tonight so that'll give me a few more hours to relax at home.  I realized last night while watching TV that I haven't turned on my Xbox in almost a month.  I lost track of time but I know it's been at least 3 weeks.  I'll find out for sure when I finally turn it on because it'll have the date I last saved my game.  Hilarious.

Not sure what i'm doing tonight but more than likely i'll be heading out to the club.  Not the one I really want to go to, but somewhere.  I know PG wants to go to a certain club and I may just go with her because all our other friends are flying and she'll be alone.  I'm kinda feeling a movie instead and just staying in.  We'll see how it goes.  Tomorrow might be an easy day.  Nothing planned during the day since everyone will be gone.  I pretty much commited to playing poker with the guys tomorrow so I have no choice.  I've skipped cards for the past 3 weeks and the guys are feeling a little left out.  Wayne even brought up a good point today.  He said I turned in to the one guy I said i'd never turn in to.  The guy that doesnt hang out with the guys anymore after he finds a woman.  Well in my defense, I found a woman but i'm not really with her so I didnt trade them in for her.  I traded them in for a group of friends.  LOL.  Granted that still doesnt change the fact that I don't hang out with the guys anymore.  I'll play tomorrow night and I can still hit the club if people decide to go since we usually start poker early.

Other than that, not much is going on in life.  The day is going by excruciatingly slow.  It's only 11 right now and I feel like i've been at work for freaking 5 hours when in reality it's only been 3.  Crazy I tell you.  I'm not really sure what i'm going to do to kill time the rest of the day.  I brought my Ipod in today so that should at least help things go by smoothly.  I got the slow songs going and i'm calm.  Hopefully people at work don't bother me with something to do today.  I might go ballistic if they do.  Well, I better go and get ready to make an appearance at a command picnic.  I have to pretend I have team spirit and show up like we're all one big happy family.  At least there will be free food.  This afternoon I gotta run and renew my base parking pass and stop by the store.  That should effectively kill at least an hour if I plan it right.   

I take my leave

It's just a little past 5 in the morning and i'm getting ready to head out of here.  This post is my last hurrah and i'm trying to milk it as long as possible so I can prolong my time here at work.  Wait, did I just say that?!?!  I must need some serious sleep if I am finding excuses to stay here at work. 

Anyway, the night couldn't go anymore boring than it did.  I can't believe I wasted it instead of staying on my regular schedule and not screwing up my body clock anymore than it already is.  Then again had I gone in to work on time this morning I would be just as tired, and wouldn't have gotten a chance to hang out with Pretty Girl this afternoon.  I guess it all worked out.  Make some sacrifices to obtain happiness.  I'm not really sure how i'm going to work today since I technically still have to work 8 hours.  I may end up coming in after lunch and working 8 then.  That kinda sucks cause then Thursday i'm back on my regular schedule.  I'm hoping that I get an email or message from someone in charge telling me to just go ahead and stay on nights so it's less complicated for me to try and figure out how i'm going to get back on schedule.  After all it's the end of the week anyway.  Knowing my anal company and bosses though i'm sure i'm expected to show up today despite being at work all night.  This even after a conversation with our first line supervisor about making up the hours on the weekend or something.  I hate having a conscience cause if I didn't, i'd be more inclined to just say "fuck it" and stay home all day tomorrow and come in at night for a few hours.  Who am I kidding.  I'll be getting called left and right by about 10 or 11 cause my other boss is going to be wondering why i'm not at work despite me sending him emails telling him my schedule change.  I guess i'm paying for having it easy the past year.  Now i'm stuck dealing with petty micro-managing assholes.  It's time to find another job.

Here I go over analyzing the situation again instead of just letting things happen on their own.  I told you i've heard grumblings about my situation with PG and how things are progressing.  Well a friend of mine was trying hard to NOT tell me what they talked about.  She did a very good job of keeping their conversation private and making me frustrated and anxious in the process.  Basically all I got was that things are going good and that sometime in the near future our situation may change.  Then she started back tracking and telling me that she told her to hold off for a bit and make me suffer.  Then she brought up another guy that she was attracted to.  Why bring that up?  Why tell her to make me suffer?  And why tell me that she doesnt want to tell me anyway because she's afraid to get my hopes up and then it doesnt happen?  All that does is make me even more scared.  I'm fragile here people!  Work with me!  It's been years since my last real relationship.  Cut me some slack on the emotional rollercoaster.  Sometimes I wonder if my circle of friends are really subconsciously and inadvertently trying to make sure this doesnt happen.  Maybe they're afraid that our group might change.  Worse yet, maybe they just don't want to see anyone else happy because they aren't.  They were a bit like that in the early stages of our friendship.  More of a haphazard effort at trying to set me up with someone.  Until I took matters in to my own hands and things just kind of progressed.  To their credit, they have responded really well and outside of a few bumps in the road in the first couple of weeks, they've been quietly supportive and now childishly giddy.  I was a little upset in the beginning though because one of our friends kept taking her out and trying to set her up with other guys because she was trying to hook up with other guys.  She needed a wingman, or wingwomand in their case.  That didn't help me one bit.  But now they are pretty cool about it.  They seem genuinely happy.  Maybe a little envious since im sure I make them sick with the way I act towards PG. 

Anyway, enough talking about the situation.  I don't want to jinx it.  Besides, nothing is promised and I still gotta continue being me.  I'm going to fire off a status email on my project and end my night.  I'll try to blog again tomorrow if I manage to make it to work at a decent hour.  For now, enjoy my previous posts.  They are long enough to keep you entertained, or even just kill some of your time.  :)  I bid you adieu.

It's 3 a.m. and i've realized i'm a genius

Why you ask?  Well I realized I went in to work tonight, knowing full well that only a few people would be at work and probably dressed down with things to keep themselves busy to pass the night.  What did yours truly do?  I showed up an hour early, dressed like it was a regular work day complete with tucked shirt and everything AND didnt bring my Ipod or even a halfway decent book.  Hell, I didnt even bring my hard drive with pictures so I can sort them or even reorganize them.  What the hell?  I'm retarded.  What in the blue hell was I thinking?  I've got about 3 to 4 more hours to go and I haven't the slightest idea how i'm going to pass the time and keep myself awake.  This is outrageous!  I don't even know who I can send emails to because no one really emails me anymore.  I can always call my mom on the phone so there is no sense in sending her a pointless and possibly illegible email.  Ah hell.

I am hearing grumblings that whatever it is i'm doing with Pretty Girl seems to be working and she may be warming up to me.  Maybe the good karma i've been waiting for is finally starting to bear fruit.  I mean this girl is totally out of my league.  A friend of mine pointed out the fact that all the guys she's dated have been pretty good looking.  And here I am with none of the looks to compete.  It's a wonder why from the beginning I figured I didnt have a shot with her.  Whenever we're out at the club or something and meeting all these Navy guys i'm just waiting for the inevitable of her hooking up with one of them.  It's like because I don't have the dashing good looks I don't even get a chance to prove i'm more boyfriend material than any of those other guys.  And people wonder why i'm so frustrated with the girls I hang around with.  I love them to death but give the nice guys a chance.  If not, then stop complaining about why you haven't found a guy that is truly good for you and deserves you.  What am I saying?  It's just a way of life.  There's a reason why the popular saying "Nice guys finish last" is true.  Because the nice guys are always the less attractive ones.  The ones that the women always count on to be friends with.  To lean on when their jerkoff boyfriends treat them like crap.  It's just too bad I can't be a jerk.  The only thing I can do is be overly nice and hope that compensates for my lack of looks.

But it's weird to hear that she's warming up to me.  I know I should give her more credit and believe that maybe, just maybe looks aren't everything and personality counts for a lot.  But you can't blame me for dreading the worst.  I mean she's extremely attractive, young, smart and very friendly.  What's not to like.  I can't even count how many guys trip over themselves when they see her the club.  Hell, all the guys that my other "girl" friends know all think she's absolutely gorgeous and all want to be with her.  It doesnt help that for the longest time my friends were always trying to hook her up with one of them.  And you wonder why I have low self esteem.  LOL.  Anyway, I told myself a few days ago that there isn't much I can do.  I think I even blogged about it.  All I can do is continue being myself.  This is who I am.  What you see is what you get, and if that's good enough to be in a relationship with then great.  If not, then that sucks for me but what can I do? 

I am a little scared though because of the fact that i'm feeling optimistic about this one.  Like being me is actually working and might be enough to win her over.  Am I crazy for worrying about jinxing it?  I guess it doesnt help that some people have also told her not to move too fast and to let me suffer some more.  LOL.  That's just sick and twisted.  We were talking during lunch today and she told me that one of her friends told her to take things slow and make the guy wait and suffer for a while before giving in.  I responded by telling her that's okay and all but don't make me wait too long cause I think i've suffered enough.  We've both pretty much endured a month and a half of constant ribbing and teasing by our mutual friends.  She brought up a good point today.  She said pretty much everyone knows how I feel about her.  It's no secret.  They all joke and kid about it in front of us.  I'm sure it makes her feel uncomfortable since there really isn't anything going on and the feelings are kind of one sided.  I enjoy it a bit because it's the closest i've been to a relationship in a long time.  Kinda sad.  LOL.  I'm already finding it difficult to explain to people that we're just friends because of a few things that might suggest otherwise.  One, the time we spend together and how when we're all together in my car, everyone pretty much relenquishes the front seat for her.  Two, how we act when we're together and the things we do.  We play sports together, she helps me cook, things like that.  Three, my Myspace page is littered with pictures of her.  Hell, my last 3 profile pics have been pics of her and I.  Throw in the comments that our mutual friends leave and she admitted today that a lot of her friends are asking what is going on between us.  Four, the wallpaper on my cell phone is a picture of her.  Something I thought initially would bother her when I first changed it in front of her.  Oddly enough, she didnt respond negatively.  In fact, she wanted me to put a better picture of her instead of the one I chose.  That's when I started to wonder if maybe she's starting to warm up to me. 

Okay, if you didn't already realize, im blogging and babbling just to stay awake.  It's 3:30 and if I stop typing I may just fall asleep.  Hell, everyone is out taking a smoke break right now and i'm stuck here at my desk fighting the "Z" monster. 

Okay, i'm back.  I had to kill half an hour so I ran next door and grabbed a soda.  Not helping.  My brain has pretty much shut down.  I'm not too sure how i'm going to be able to function here in about half an hour.  I might start another blog post just to stay on one topic since right now I don't remember what I wrote on here and am too tired to scroll up and read. 

An entire shift to kill

So im working night shift tonight, and more than likely tomorrow night.  It almost worked out well for me because the night before I had friends at my place for an impromptu potluck dinner to celebrate a friends birthday.  That lasted until about 1 in the morning and everyone finally left.  I was almost tempted to follow them to the club but I knew my body would have given out on me today had I done that.  Thank goodness.  I slept good.  REAL good.  I finally forced myself up around noon and showered.  I wanted to go in to work for a few hours before my softball game to get my 8 hours in.  Something that I never needed to worry about with my old company but now it's a requirement.  I could still do my 8 hours tonight, but I wanted to get ahead of the game.  I never made it in to work though.  Ended up meeting Pretty Girl for a late lunch, and hung around at her friends place for a couple of hours.  It was nice.  Just her and I getting to spend time together without all our friends.  She opens up more and more now and of course i'm smiling more because that means she's slowly letting me in to her life.  Of course I could just be getting my hopes up too high but eh, who cares. 

Anyway, after lunch and hanging out I went to my softball game.  We played one of the better teams in the league and almost pulled out a win.  In fact we lost with the last at bat in the last inning.  It was a real heartbreaker.  We just let it slip out of our fingers.  We gave it away.  I should be happy that we hung in there but i'm upset because of the way we lost.  We weren't doing the things that we did the previous games which led us to wins.  Somehow we all lost focus and beat ourselves.  Those are the ones I hate giving up.  I don't mind losing.  I hate losing because we made stupid mistakes.  I'm probably taking it harder than before because now i'm coaching.  A lose reflects on my ability to prepare my team.  I guess I look bad now.  Although that's really the last thing on my mind.  I just want to win.  I know the formula and i'm putting everyone in the right places to make a play.  Now I just have to trust that my players will do that. 

After the loss on the softball field I had to run to Starbucks and pick up PG and some friends for dinner at my place.  We have a ton of leftovers from the night before and everyone wanted to eat.  We all had to eat and run though because I had to drop PG off at her place to get ready for her flight.  The original plan was to get everyone to my place, eat for about 45 minutes then kick everyone out.  I ended up making a consolation and just leaving a spare key with my friend Lori to lock up while I took PG home to change and take her to the airport.  Just in time to stop by Starbucks for coffee then off to work.  Hell, I even made it to work an hour early.  That just means I can leave work earlier.  LOL. 

So, here I am, two hours in to work and not a damn thing to do.  I'm just hoping I don't get hungry in the middle of the night and have to cut off one of my arms to survive.  I really need to lose some weight and the last thing I need to be doing is eating in the middle of the night.  I can't believe it's only 12:45.  I still have nearly 6 hours to kill.  This is ridiculous.  I'm not sure how much more I can post.  Let me run to the store and get something to drink.  That'll kill about 15 minutes. 

About a girl

There's this girl.  I met her a while back but we never really talked or got to know each other.  It's a funny story actually.  When I first moved to Bahrain last year, I went on Myspace and looked for people to meet here.  I added a few to my friends list and actually met a few of them.  Anyway, one of these girls, who from now on shall be known as "Pretty Girl" or "PG" since that's what I call her was one of the ones that added me but I never met.  A few months passed and I because friends with a few flight attendants.  We started hanging out and eventually the topic of "hooking me up" came about and they were going to find someone to hook me up with.  So I playfully suggested "PG" since I never met her but was completely infatuated by the pictures in her profile.  By pure luck and coincidence my friend actually knew her.  So the quest was on to try and get her to come hang out with us one time so we could meet.

Finally after a few months and after it was already put in the back of my head we happened to run in to her in my friends apt building and finally got introduced.  A quick hello and goodbye, and that was it.  Then another couple of months passed and we ran in to each other at my friends bday celebration.  The same one I posted about a couple of months ago.  The one were we spent the majority of the weekend drunk.  Anyway, after that weekend, she started hanging around my little group of friends.  We got to know each other some more, and all our friends continously tease her and I because everyone knows how I feel about her.  Basically the more I get to know her, the more I like her.  It's scary.  She's an unbelievable woman.  I'm crazy about her, which is weird because we've only known each other for a few months.  But it's hard not to get close to someone when you spend so much time with them.  I mean whenever she's not flying, we're all hanging out together.  It's great.  Now I find myself missing her when she's not around. 

Okay, so there is a slight problem.  She doesn't like me.  Yeah yeah.  Story of my life.  I'm saying the same thing.  It was originally frustrating because it felt like I didnt even have a chance to begin with.  It was pretty much okay, here's Ken.  Mr. nice guy.  So sweet.  But just not my type.  Always happens to me.  I can't quite explain it.  I almost got tired of being one of the nice guys but not a datable guy.  Until I just said "screw it!".  If it doesnt happen, then it doesnt.  It's going to suck, and i'm going to be depressed about it, but at least I gave it my all and i'll get over it in due time.  Reality hit me.  All I can do is be myself.  If that's good enough, great!  If not, then so be it.  It might take some time for her to trust a guy enough to let him in her life.  That's not something I can force.  I don't blame her for being cautious.  She was hurt in her last relationship.  Bad.  The jackass just didn't know what he had and it's his loss. 

Anyway, she's gone for a few days so i'll be pretty lonely the next couple of days.  Hopefully i'll be able to catch up on some sleep after tonights party and my adjusted schedule tomorrow.  I actually have to come in at 11 pm for work.  We'll see what happens when she gets back.  I got this funny feeling that she was slowly starting to warm up to me.  It's been weird lately.  During the Navy Ball she seemed so distant.  Then after that, she started becoming more open to me.  A lot of little things that I notice.  The things that most men don't notice when it comes to women.  How she offers to help when i'm cooking.  Asks me if i'm okay if i'm just quiet.  Doesn't mind that my wallpaper on my phone is a picture of her.  Appreciates the fact that I have a CD full of songs she likes in my car so we have something to listen to when we drive around.  And she doesnt take advantage of me.  She doesnt call me for a ride to go anywhere or other things like that.  She even puts up a fight when I offer to help her with things.   Okay, well I better get going.  Need to tie up some loose ends before going home.  Hopefully things progress between her and I but i'm sure it'll take time.  I don't mind at all because she's definitely worth it. 

Just because

I’m tired and I’m bored.  I was trying to get some sleep last night but it didn’t work out too well for me. I was watching football when I started falling asleep on the couch. That’s when I figured it was time to go to bed. At 9 pm mind you.  I said I’d check my email and Myspace real quick before going to sleep. I ended up wasting half an hour on Myspace before finally getting to bed. Then I did my routine tossing and turning and finally fell asleep only to be woken up by a phone call from a friend I had been meaning to talk to for a couple of days. She told me we’d just catch up today so I could sleep. Then I woke up about half an hour earlier than I usually get up so I’m not at all happy today. I didn’t even have my morning Starbucks today because I was running late and didn’t want to get stuck in traffic getting on base.

I was trying to catch up on sleep last night because it was really one of the only nights I have that I won’t be busy. Pretty much most of my flight attendant friends were flying so I didn’t have any plans that night and could have slept as much as I wanted.  After my softball game of course.  I got up this morning and checked my Myspace account before I went to work which has become common practice for me lately and found out that there is a potluck party at my place tonight for my friend’s birthday.  That means no sleep tonight either and I still have to go to softball tryouts tonight where they have been working us like we were playing football. I was trying to hit the gym today after tryouts but I’m not too sure how that’s going to go considering I’m tired and people are coming over to my house tonight. Luckily I dragged my lazy ass to the gym last night after my softball game. I’m trying to get serious on the losing weight thing.  I’ve got help from two of my friends, one who is my gym buddy and another is the girl I am crazy about. That’s pretty much all the motivation I need.

Other than that today is going pretty slow.  I'm kinda beat and I still have softball tryouts this evening.  I also found out earlier today that there is a potluck dinner at my place tonight.  My friends just invited people over for our friend's bday celebration.  Hopefully there aren't going to be too many people because i'm pretty damn tired and don't want to be too loud since my neighbors are awfully close to complaining to management about the noise I make during my parties.  We'll see how it goes.  All I know is that I need some sleep and I have to come in tomorrow night to do some work.   

Pictures

Some long overdue pictures.  This was 2 weeks ago at the Navy Ball here in Bahrain.  Yes i've put on some weight since the last pictures I posted.  Just work with me.  LOL

Have I mentioned how much I hate work?

It's become a pain in the ass.  A lot has changed and none has been for the better.  I finally started work this week after taking 2 weeks off and staying in Bahrain.  I pretty much partied my brains out and didnt get much sleep.  I did get a chance to hang out with my friends a lot though which brought us all closer together.  I came back in to work on Monday and i'm pretty burned out already.  This is my first taste of falling under a new military organization who I don't care much for, and working for a company who underpays their employees.  I tried to come in with a positive outlook but it only took a few hours to realize the shit I got myself in to.  People are already trying to change how I do my job.  They changed my hours and now keep a close eye on me so they can micromanage me a bit.  This is getting ridiculous I tell you.  I'm about done with people constantly coming to me asking for updates on problems i'm working on.  It worked before, and it'll continue to work now so leave me the hell alone.

On a better note, the Navy Ball was on Saturday and I had a great time.  I went with a group of friends and had a beautiful date who I happen to have a thing for.  Unfortunately for me, nothing will happen between us since i'm just not her type.  Eh, story of my life.  We continue to be good friends though as we all hang around together quite frequently.  I feel a little bad that I don't get to spend as much time with the old crew but there's not much I can do about that.  I still see Wayne and the family every now and then so I can play with his little baby.  Just not as much since I have to spend some quality time with people who are in my situation.  I'm single.  I can't spend the next few years constantly hanging around people who are married or in relationships.  How am I ever going to find someone if that's all I limit myself to?  I'm paying the price though cause I don't get very much sleep nowadays.  I'm pretty beat up from staying up late almost every night and going in to work.  Hell, even while I was on leave I was only getting about 6 hours of sleep a day.  Deadly I tell you.  Well, i'm about done trying to kill time.  I might just run to the store for a while to kill the last hour I have to spend in the office.  I'm sure there is something I can find to buy.